Q: What did Batman say to get robin into the Batmobile? A: Robin, get in the Batmobile!

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Tulips are red. My garden is on fire.

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Why can't Hellen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

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A fish swims up stream for his natural spawning cycle. The fish was out of shape and died from heart failure.

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree? No

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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

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want to hear a joke? Woman's rights

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Why the girl fell from the swing? cause she had no arms

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How much does a polar bear weigh? The average male weights approximately 1150lbs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the other birds had taken hostage the chickens family.

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What happened when the man stuck his hand in the blender? Nothing, it was turned off.

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#1 rule in arguments: if losing, start correcting their grammar

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Roses are red Voilets are blue I have a gun Get in the Van

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I saw a woman get donkey punched in the middle of the street. Nero the clit collector: You know... What is it called when A donkey kinda lifts its front hoove and hits a woman? ...WHAT? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE STARVE TO DEATH BECAUSE OF YOUR COIN COLLECTION? YOUR STAMPS ARE MURDER! (or something) At least my uh... "Friends" survive... SOMETIIIIIIIIMEEEEEEEEES!!!!!!! ...And then I kill them.

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Yo mama's so fat she couldn't ride on roller coasters with you in Disney world. Sometimes you wish you could share more fond memories with her.

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How many years old is Chuck Norris? The same amount of years that it has been since he was born.

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*spongebob voice* 25

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What do you call a snake with no arms? Normal. What do you call an amphibian with no arms? A caecilian. What do you call a girl with no arms? A poor, poor soul that is unfortunate enough to have had an amputation when young. Now, she can't go in public without being stared at. She can't catch herself when she trips. She can't ride a bike, bake cookies for her family, or be a NASA astronaut like she always dreamed. She is the normal ASDF Movie character.

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What do a black man and an apple have in common? They are both carbon based life forms.

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How old is your mom? Old.

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I see London, I see France, I am in an airplane on my way to Europe.

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Neither does he.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Baby you think i loved you, but you got played too

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Bailiffs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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