What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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What did the Jewish boy get for Christmas? Jews don't celebrate Christmas

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Nothing because saying a fish can talk is like saying Obama is a good president.

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sooo.how do you get a bonner when your in a room with lady gaga???? you tell lady gaga to turn around and you think of brittany spears bending over get it nahhh probably not

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Why did the boy drop his Ice cream? A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him.

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why did the man fall over he was a loaf of bread

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What do you call Santa's helpers? Chinese factory workers, who live in impoverished conditions, work up to 16 hours a day, earning slave wages. God damn you, Steve Jobs and Mattel.

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why was the old woman angry? fig pudding.

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poop

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GUYS! I GOT AN A IN MY PIANO EXAM!!!!!

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I have a crush on my dad.

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A mama cow was sitting in the barn with her 3 babies. The first baby cow goes "Mom, why did you name me Daisy?" "Because a Daisy landed on your head when you were born" The second calf goes "Mom, why did you name me Rose?" "Because a Rose petal landed on your head when you where born." The third calf says "Aasdfghoiuytfghjkuiy" The mom replies "Shut up brick"

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Why was the Asian so good at ping-pong? Disciprine.

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Why did the girl commit suicide? She has been abused severely for seven years by her pet kangaroo.

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How did the kid drop his ice he got hit by a train Griffin Cholette

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What did the man do when he walked into the gym? Died of a brain aneurysm.

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knock knock who's there? a murder who? a murder who kills you and your family.

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Why did the car suddenly stop? It was at a redlight.

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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Why was the little girl crying? She got slapped with a porcupine.

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What do you call a black man in court? A lawyer.

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I have a sandwich and chips for lunch! But instead of a sandwich I have macaroni, and instead of chips I have no friends.

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What's a black person's favorite thing to eat? Food.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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