what is worse than bitting into your apple and finding a worm? 9/11

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What do A Canary and a Groundhog have in common? Nothing, Groundhogs can fly, and Canaries can't dig.

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A snake walks into a bar

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A horse walks into a bar. the bartender says "hey. get out."

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Going to bed? Mind if I Slytherin?

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Did the Chicken cross the road? No the road moved the chicken across.

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what do you call a baby that's just been crushed by a piano. a mess for a cleaner to deal with. think about his health. after that he might get a disease from the body and he might not get to sleep as it is a haunting sight.

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What's the difference between urinating on Lady Gaga and the american flag? It would be wrong to urinate on the American flag.

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zebras

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What starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? F*ck

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what happened to your gran you tell me

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, this is Patrick

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Some guy stapled it to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A terrorist threw a refrigerator at it. Why did the girl fall off her bike? She was hit by 3 dead monkeys and a refrigerator.

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why couldn't the old man play basketball? he lacked the physical dexterity, had asthma, and had no arms.

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Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second Koala fall out the tree? Hit by the first Koala. Why did the third Koala fall out the tree? Peer pressure

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Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? It isn't doing anything, sir. It's dead.

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Why did Pamela Anderson cross the road? To meet me.

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Why did the pig fly cuz his wife is a bitch

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a big dick, Now suck it you fucking bitch!

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A cow walks into a store. The clerk asks "how may i help you sir?" The cow says "Im a cow stupid!" and storms out.

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what did the chicken say to the vet? nothing chickens dont talk

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A guy walks into a bar. Yep.. that's it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road To get to the other side

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Why do innocent boys have wet dreams? Cause Jesus sucks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops