why didn't little johnny show up to school on friday? little johnny died two months ago from cancer. he hasn't been to school in a year.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock. Whos there? Satan.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the man tell the other man to shut up? The other man said something that made the man who said shut up mad so he told the man to shut up.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the man with cancer bald? He wanted to tan his scalp.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

thumb_up thumb_down

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

thumb_up thumb_down

Joe Biden

thumb_up thumb_down

Are you understanding any of this caboose? I think so, that guy is really a robot and you his boy friend so that makes you.................a gay robot. yes i am a gay robot. -_-

thumb_up thumb_down

Did you know Dr Pepper isn't really a doctor?

thumb_up thumb_down

2 dogs one jar of peanut butter

thumb_up thumb_down

why is the black man black? because he isnit white

thumb_up thumb_down

why was the snowman so happy? because a child placed pieces of coal in a "u" shape on it.

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock Knock Who's there? Kconk Kconk who? Kconk Ohw Oh yeah, sorry mate, didn't recognise your voice! Come on up, I've got some lagers in the fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down

Asians

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's more annoying than Minion quotes? That the girl in the basement keeps screaming for help.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The white man who called the police and the police officers involved were sued by the family for a large sum of money.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the black kid get for christmas? Nothing, he doesn't celebrate christmas

thumb_up thumb_down -2

fkda

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the Israeli military stop the helicopter raids to Gaza? They didn't. They continue them until there is nobody left.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is Earth made out of? Earth

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops