What's worse than a rainy day? Dropping the soap

What's the difference between George Washington and Wiz Khalifa? George Washington died many years ago.

What did the man tell his parents after having sex with another man? A. I am gay.

69. Yeah- that's my street address.

If there are 500 bricks in an airplane and one falls out how many are there in he plane? 499. Name 3 steps to get a Elephant in a fridge. 1. Open the fridge 2. Put the Elephant in the fridge 3. Close the fridge Name 4 steps to get an Deer in a fridge. 1. Open the fridge 2.Take the Elephant out of the fridge 3. Put the Deer in the fridge 4. Close the fridge The Lion King is having a birthday party. Every animal came, besides one. Who was it? The Deer. Because hes trapped in the Fridge. The Deer manages to escape the fridge, and hes running late. he encounters Crocodile lake. How will he cross it? He will swim through it because the Crocodiles are at the Lion Kings birthday. Then suddenly, The Deer dies. How? The Brick hit him.

Why couldn't the man reach the police on his phone after his leg was hacked off by a serial killer? He had AT&T as a service provider.

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having an apple at all. Yet only worms to eat, such as the the poverty stricken citizens of Ethiopia.

Why you so fat... Because you have an eating problem fatass...

When the clock strikes the bell at elephantasourous during my erectionn i screw myself CC

One muffin doesn't say anything to another muffin while baking in an oven because they lack the organs necessary to attain properties of speech and thought

Whats worse than scraping your elbow and knee? Beheading and disembowlment.

Why can't Amy Winehouse drive? She is dead.

What is the difference between a hore and a wife? The hore serves you...

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender picks up a newspaper and squishes him

Ouch.

Q. What's the difference between a movie star and a manikin? A. Nothing.

What is white on top and black on bottom? Society

Once upon a time there were seven dwarfs. They were named Steven, Jason, John, Peter and Alfred.

why did the painter cry? he didnt have any paint left...

where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

A homeless boy walks up to a woman. "I'm hungry" "Then you should eat something."

What time is it? 10:58

What is hotter than two girls making out? The Sun.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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