What's dead? Your mum.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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What do you call a Jew in Harlem? It depends on what his name is. I advise procuring a polite introduction from a mutual acquaintance.

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Yo mama so fat,we are all very concerned for her health.

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There is this dylectic who can't spell.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Becuse 7 was a convicted serial killer. >----->

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Why did Billy get a 102% on his Algebra test? He got all of the questions correct including the bonus question. Oh, and he slept with the teacher.

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Little Miss Muffet Sat on a tuffet, Eating her curds and whey; Along came a spider, Who sat down beside her But was offered the window seat, Because this was Little Miss Muffet's stop

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There was a homeless man living all by his lonesome on a street corner, desperately begging for money. Suddenly, a car comes to a screeching halt and out of the window flies a thin, square piece of plastic. The hobo successfully catches it in both hands. "Whats dis?" he says, "What da hick can I do wid a stinkin wada plastic?" he says, failing to realizing the significance of the thin square of plastic, for he is but a hobo and has been out of touch with reality for quite some time. After some time, he gains back his common sense, "Aha!" he shouts, "it is but a condom!" A few days pass, the man wondering alone in search for a way to make use of his prized, plastic square. He encounters a beautiful female hobo (at least he thinks she is) and they make love. So not only does the hobo make use of the silly condom (which expired-he just doesn't know) he get's laid and keeps warm in the brutal winter weather by getting cozy with the hobo chick. There are some pros in being a hobo, you know. After a month, both hobos make the faithful decision to join their cardboard boxes together, thus creating a new home where they live happily ever after <3

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How did the comedian end his show with a bang? He shot 4 people in the audience. It was a horrible sight and the remainder of the people in the audience were scarred for life.

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what's the difference between ya mum and a cow? nothing. by mad james

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Where was Susie when the bomb exploded? Everywhere

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Why did Patrick cross the road Because he saw a rock

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What do you call 10 black people on the moon? A problem What do you call 1000 black people on the moon? A problem What do you call the population of black people on the moon? A huge problem

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What's the best part of having a doctor for a best friend? The sex.

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What's the difference between Kim kardashian and lebrOn James?? Kim got a ring this year

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Why did the child step on a ball?

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Where's my tractor?

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A really hot girl walks past 2 guys and the following conversation is produced... Guy1:damn! look at that ass! Guy2:yep I bet shit comes from that thing! When's the last time she had diarrhea?!

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Roses are bacon Violets are red I have a gun I'm not very original.

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So a black and mexican go to the foodstore to get foodstamps.the end

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whats white and sticking?... glue, you dirty bastard

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A blonde is a Homo sapien (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans . A mosquito on the other hand is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat).

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Why do Jews circumcise their children.......because they like everything 10% off

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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