Two guys walk into a bar... They sat down, had a few drinks and left without any incident.

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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Is it a sin to love math? Cos I don't. I'm radical about it.

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math test 2=2

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How did Helen Keller meet her husband? On a blind date.

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Why was the guy on top of the van It was his funeral

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What's better than getting to sleep in? Sex for the very first time.

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why did the man blink because i put a gun to his head.

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Why did the man take off all his clothes? He was going to take a shower.

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There's no "i" in tim.

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What's the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods? Santa is a jolly Christmas figure that delivers presents to children and Tiger Woods is a professional golfer.

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What did the cab driver say to the duck who wanted a ride in the cab? Get out of the cab.

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Why couldn't the little boy skate? He had cancer.

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What do you call a Mexican baptism? A blessed occasion.

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What's the color of a retarde dogs hair? 69

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3 men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks.

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Why did the addict choke himself with a trash bag? His family couldn't afford a funeral and it was the quickest way to disappear.

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Why did the cookie go to the docter? Because he was dieing of terminal cancer.

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Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

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My wife crashed the car while listening to Adele last night. She ended up rolling in the jeep.

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p p p penis. penis's are big and juicy

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Black Veil Brides.

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What did the German say to the Jew? I'm not quite sure; I don't speak German.

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what is funnier then a man with AIDS? -nearly anything as AIDS is a serious medical condition and could be potentially lethal

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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