what did one toilet say to the other toilet? i would love to flush u

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so a kangaroo a piece of cake and a whale are all doing... ...nothing they would not hang out together

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Did you hear about the man who didn't get a burger with his meal?! Yes he is doing quite well on his diet don't you agree?

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A boss walks into a bar and hires the first man he sees. He fires everyone else, no matter what their occupation.

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This is not a good joke.

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Why didn't the boy finish his homework? He was in a coma.

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Out on the playground of a school, extremely young kids are acting as living witness to an audacious thing. They're watching a very interesting display of strength and brutality. They're observing a enactment of lofty potential and great might. What're they watching? They're regarding their principal getting promptly arrested by the federal police for possession of technically illegal weaponry including, but not only limited to what looked like to them: peculiar "fire crackers" and reloadable "candy dispensers". In the ensuing battle, their principal got shot in the arm and a random pedestrian got killed by a stray bullet. In the end, the cruel joke's on them. Guess what? They're irrepairably damaged for the rest of their life.

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a man sees a monkey playing the drums at first he thought it waz the guy in the monkey suit that plays the drums but on closer inspection he sees that it is in fact a real monkey on that note he tries to befriend the monkey but the monkey soon tore the man into pieces

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A guy hit his elbow. Judaism.

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What does wasabi spell backwards? Ibasaw

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A man walks into a bar, unfortunately his brain condition killed him after the swelling in his brain reached a point where his family had to unplug him from a machine putting him in a medically induced coma.

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When god hands you lemons .. you find a new god.

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How do you stop your baby from crawling into your room? Shove a spear through its head.

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Guy 1: Yo dawg Guy 2: DID yOU JUST FUCKING CALL ME A DOG>/?>/???? Guy 3: Yea

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Why did the Black Man sit at the back of the bus? Because all the other seats were taken.

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I dumped this chick who was cross eyed. I thought she was seeing other people.

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Why did the blond couldn't put a piece of meat into her mouth? Because she was vegetarian.

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A kid walked into a bar, but was kicked out immediately as state law mandates you must be 21 to be withing 12 feet of an operable bar.

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An illegal Mexican immargrant was deported for the selling an use of marijuana. the sad part is this happens everyday

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Destiny was calling me, so I picked up the phone.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who Doctor Octagonapus! BLAAAUUUUGGGHHHH

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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I am awesome, you are not, i am awesome, you smoke pot!

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Knock! Knock! Whose there? Chris Chris who? (There was never a response. Leaving the man to wonder who Chris was... Was it his high school buddy Chris? His former colleague? That guy who filled his propane tank down at the gas station? Was that guy's name even Chris-or was it Craig? Craig, it was definitely Craig.)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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