How many blondes does is take to screw a man? one and a condem

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Why did Dave not hug his wife? Because she looked horrifying from the Iraq war.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Two young men ignoring societies expectations of them and instead choosing to play the sport they enjoy the most.

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Stevie wonder walks across the road without looking both ways.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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Okay so two penquins are sitting in a bathtub when one asks the other "Hey pass the soap!". The other one jokingly replies "what do I look like a typewriter?"

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Women's rights

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Why is there no African food restaurants in America? Because Africa doesnt have food to begin with

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What did the mute child say to his parents for the first time? "My head hurts" Doctors later found he had hypertensitive heart disease and an aneurysm in his brain. He died later that month.

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How do you make a baby eat his food? Make one first

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Why did the chandelier fall on the little boy? Hell if I know, the only person who saw it got hit by a chandelier and died.

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whats worse than your brother dying in a car accident? finding out the rest of your family was in there

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69

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What's worse than getting stuck in traffic? AIDS.

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A horse walks into a glue factory..

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Why did the man drink water? Because he was thirsty

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Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Q. How did Kit Kat candy bars get their name? A. It was chosen by manufacturer.

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An asian walks out of math class

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? She was hungry

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Wats wet and salty and people on the west coast get covered in it? Sweat.

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What has four legs, its yellow with black spots, and can run as fast as a Cheetah? Another Cheetah

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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