Roses are Red Violets are Blue It is Valentines Day So I had to get them for you or we would get into a big fight, which will end up with me on the couch.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Sarah Palin is President

thumb_up thumb_down -34

why was the boy crying? ... because he had a frog stapled yo his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Whats worse than being a Jew? Being black.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What time did the tennis start? Tennish

thumb_up thumb_down -44

i felt like burning some calories so i lit a fat kid on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -48

sticks and stones may break my bones but cataracts will prohibit you from eyesight

thumb_up thumb_down -48

What do you get when you cross a chicken with a beagle? An abomination.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

What did Mambo say to Jumbo? Nothing. Because they weren't friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

roses are red, violets are purple, sugar is sweet, and so are... hmmm...

thumb_up thumb_down -92

"hey" said an elephant to another elephant... "why can I talk?" the other elephan did not reply because it is normal and cannot speak or understand the first elephant. And a man near by thinks he's dreaming so he strips down and runs around naked to be tazed on his left testicle an the. Falls into the crocodile enclosure. But they pay no attention because they are docile after being in the zoo so long. But he did land on his balls and is crying.

thumb_up thumb_down -128

"Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "The police. We're looking for three escaped inmates posing as bananas."

thumb_up thumb_down +71

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus, the divorce papers were filed soon thereafter.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

What's sad about 3 Black Guys in a Camero? It was my car...

thumb_up thumb_down +57

why did the 8 year old want a squirt gun? his parents were on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +55

How do you get a blonde to drown herself? Isolate her in an aqueous environment

thumb_up thumb_down +55

how do you fit 100 jews in a car? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back seat, and 95 in the ash tray.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

How does a black guy call to another black guy in Africa? using a telephone

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper with some red stuff on it.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What did the man say to his wife when he bought a dog? I bought a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

whats round and like a ball a ball

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops