Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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what black and white and read all over? a woman who has just been beaten and raped and left to die in the snow.

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I farted once. Haiti took the brunt of it.

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What do you call a man who just came home from a 72-hour work shift ? You don't call him, you let him sleep.

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How do you make an antijoke corny. How? Corn.

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how do you upset a barber? Murder his family

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Why did the lady drop her shopping Because she ran into coles

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Two men walked into a bar, the third followed close behind.

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okay.....

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A man walks into a bar. His alcoholism is destroying his family.

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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What is brown and sticky?

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What do you call a person trying to save his interprise from partaking in a financial collapse by binging on alcohal? An alcoholic.

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Q:how do you brighten up a room? A:you turn on the lamps

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How do you stop a pedophile from following you? Throw a fridge at him

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So a man dipped his balls in sloppy joe sauce.

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Knock knock. Come in.

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Your mama's so fat, she's dead!

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your face.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? It's everybody in the world telling you to stop re-using this joke.

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Nicholas Cage

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Baaaaaaahhhhhh

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roses are black, violets are black, im sleeping

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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