Why is the child screaming? Because he just woke up from a bad dream.

You mamma's so fat that even Dora can't explore her!

What do you call a shop dedicated to selling watermelon, fried chicken and corn bread? A poor business model.

I have read and agree to terms of service.

Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

There is a car full of black people.

how do you kill a blonde? -a gun, knife or any other lethal object

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Tiger Woods is an American professional golfer whose achievements to date rank him among the most successful golfers of all time and Santa Claus is a very jolly fellow who brings gifts to the homes of the good children during the late evening and overnight hours of Christmas Eve.

How did the guy with aids die? He died of aids

Michael J Fox likes his martini's shaken because they taste better that way.

Lightening never strikes the same place twice. But it killed both my parents.

Two muffins were in an oven. Neither of them said anything because they are inanimate objects. After they were finished baking, they were pulled out and set to cool on a counter to be eaten at a later time.

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Yo' mama so stupid, she has a lower IQ than the average person.

Q: how many Pollocks does it take to paint a house? A: 100. 99 to spin the house and 1 to hold the paint brush

what did the catholic priest say to the little boy? -probably something about god or jesus because they are in church

Why do redheads have red hair Because they were born like that.

Saddam Hussein is the father of the mothers of all cultchies.

Three blind mice walk into a bar, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative

How do you have sex with an amputee? stick it in the eyes

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 1

Women's Golf

Q: What's black and blue and red all over? A: I'm not sure. If it's red all over, it's not going to be black or blue.

How can you tell if a woman is dead? She has no pulse.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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