There once was a man from Nantucket Whose name was Mike

thumb_up thumb_down -35

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

what did the man say when he got in the car?nothing he lost his voice in an accient that morning

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Jack and Jill went down the hill. And were lost and burnt in hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +84

1+1=3 If you don't use a condom.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

What did the Chinese restaurants do with dogs that wander into the kitchen? Kept them as pets.

thumb_up thumb_down +70

What's funnier than 24? 25.

thumb_up thumb_down +70

How do you get a baby out of a blender? Tortilla Chips

thumb_up thumb_down +68

Jack and Jill climb a tall hill to get some water from the well for there farther who has been working in the fields. Jack trips and hits his hell on a rock and Jill promptly calls 911 and stays with him until help arrives.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

Knock Knock Who's There? No One You're Crazy

thumb_up thumb_down +58

What happend when Chuck Norris did a push up? He did one push up.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Women Drivers.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

How do you torture Helen Keller? Leave the plunger in her toilet with the handle greased.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

roses are red violets are blue kiss my ass you god damb goe..

thumb_up thumb_down +44

How do you know a dude is dead? He doesn't breath, he has no color in the face and his heart has stoped.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why was the blond looking at the orange juice box? Because she was reading the nutritional content of orange juice.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

why did the mother beat the young boy? Because he was adopted

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What's worse than being named Troy Merrill? Being Black.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why was the man afraid of the cat? Because he is allergic to cats and might die if he gets too close to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

-Knock knock -Come on in!

thumb_up thumb_down +38

what is a vampires favorite dessert? a used tampon

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What did Helen Keller's parents do to punish her? They gave her a stern talking to and then grounded her for a couple days.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

I'm not as random as you think i salad.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

I'm gay. Great me too.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops