Your mom is so fat that it's becoming a serious health concern...

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Yes I am a convicted child molester and by state law I must go door-to-door explaining the many cruel and vigorous crimes I have committed.

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A pregnant woman takes the bus, once inside she realizes that there are no seats. No one was pollite enough to let her sit down so she felt pretty uncomfortable on the way home.

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What happened at the finish line of the marathon? People collapsed in exhaustion, it was a marathon.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Joseph Kony. Give me your children.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

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If you have alzeimers, wait, never mind i forget.

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Why did the rooster go to kfc? To see a chicken strip

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What did the 5 year old girl ask Santa for Christmas? A pony.

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Why did video kill the radio star? He slept with videos wife.

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What did the human say to the human? You are a human.

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wat do call a joke thats funny a funny joke

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Whats the difference between pizza and Jews Pizzas dont scream when their put in the oven

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what do you call someone that is dying of malaria? someone that should consider visiting a doctor.

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A white man, a black man and a muslim walk into a bar. The bar explodes, but the white man is the only one that dies, thanks to reasonable accommodations.

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The little mouse lifted the giant Elephant up so the Elephant could reach the bag of snacks, but then the Elephant said: I cant reach it, you must be tired so lets switch places... Squish: Squish! Elephant: Mouse! Where are you! *looks at "squish" NO! THIS WAS NOT THE WAY THE JOKE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE!!!!!!! Moral: Elephants cant talk...

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What's funny about suicide? Nothing, that's horrible.

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Amputations.

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I'm not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical. Hey! Don't get all religous on me.

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Why is Santa's sack so big? His doctor recently diagnosed him with testicular cancer.

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Why do you bury an Asian on the side of a hill? Because he's dead.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Somebody pushed it

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Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive? A:Because she is a woman A: She is blind deaf and dumb A: No seriously because she is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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