...and I'm a Mormon.

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husband : honey , can i have stuff candy wife : no husband : can i have milk and cookies wife : what kind of milk wink wink husband 2% you pervert

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Knock Knock Whos there? The IRS *locking noise*

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Your mom is so fat that she sat on a rock.

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Q: how do you spell apple without any letters? A: you can't.

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Knock Knock Who's there (five gunshots)

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-What did the gay guy say in Mcdonald's? -Ill have a number 10, with hot sauce and a large coke.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he overslept and missed a job interview and a chance to support his family.

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How do you drown a blonde? Hold their head under water.

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Q: why do the Toronto maple leafs suck? A: they dont they r in seventh place biotch!

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A Quadriplegic walked into a bar,

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A lady goes into the store to buy potatoes. Then she eats them.

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What do you call a female duck? A duck.

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What did the blonde do when she found out one is most likely to get in a car accident within 6 miles of the home? She drove more carefully in her neighborhood.

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I went to the local RSPCA office today....it's tiny, you couldnt swing a cat in it.

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Why did the Asian man have squinty eyes? He was looking at the sun.

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Your mother is so fat that unfortunately she can not fit into her picture for her passport and is not allowed to leave the country to go visit her dying mother.

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When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

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TRUE COMEDY: "HOW ABOUT THAT AIRLINE FOOD!"

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hi

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if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. unless you only get one lemon, then it really hard to make a good glass..and for that matter, who said you had a juicer? it would be really hard to just squeeze the juice out of a lemon. on top of that, what kind of situation am I in that I would need lemonade? let's say if life gives you lemons, determine the best use of them based on need, local weather and economic status

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What is the difference between a woman and a whale? One has big whiskers and is fat and filthy, the other one lives in the sea and is a mammal

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A black woman and an Asian woman are both driving their cars. They arrive safely at their respective destinations.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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