There was once a little boy who started feeling sick. His mother gave him some soup. He died anyway.

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What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

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I wumbo, you wumbo, he she me,.WUMBO!

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Someone threw a hippo at the pilot.

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your mom is so fat that she had to start going to a gym to exercise and get her weight under control.

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What do you call a dog with 3 legs? Just because it has 3 legs dosnt mean you have to call it anything different

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says had a bad day the man says yes... he orders 10 shots goes home and shoots his neighbors

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Why was the black person sent to the back of the bus? All of the front and middle seats were taken.

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Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A: None. Woodchucks do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grasp or throw anything, so the point is moot unless they evolve thumbs for the sole purpose of chucking wood.

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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What did the water bottle say to the Itunes gift card Nothing,they're both innament object and don't have mouths.

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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People are like trees. When hit multiple times with an ax they fall down.

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Q. Why can’t a Skeleton Lift Weights? A. He’s all bone & no muscle.

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What did the rock say to the tree. It didn't say anything, rocks don't talk.

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i hate it when people repeat the same jokes. i just hate it when people repeat the same jokes.

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What do Ping-Pong and Godzilla have in common? Both of them have nothing to do with budhism.

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Why did Jenny cry? Because everyday Jenny is bullied. Jenny cried for this reason, but nothing happened. The bully still bullies her today.

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was an avocado

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What do you do when your wife is about have a baby? Throw her off the balcony go into parking lot and reach into her mouth if you feel a leg stab her in the belly button untill her intestines are coming out and burn the body singing Elmo's world

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What did the jerk say to the Mexican? You are a Mexican

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Someone: I like my coffee like I like my men Someone else: Black? Someone: No, tied up, shoved in a burlap sack, and dragged through the mountains.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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