guy walks into a bar.... Ouch.

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I see London, I see France... I see a Map.

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If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

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What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

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whos on the right track? lady gaga

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[Insert anti-joke here]

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Yo mama's chest is so flat that it's because she has stage five breast cancer and had to get both her breasts removed.

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Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

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Whats worse than getting an eye gouged out? Getting both eyes gouged out?

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes.

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Yo momma's so fat she went to Antartica and all the penguins were like, "Woah. You're fat."

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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The blonde is in the park withb a rope a man passes and says what are u doing, she says im goin o hang and kill myself. the next day the man comes back and sees the blonde there alive he says i thought u were goin hang yourself she says i tried but i couldnt breathe.

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whats the hardest answer ever? The one without a question.

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Why did the cow say moo? Cows can't say anything they actually make noises that humans interpreted as "moo"

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Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

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did Michael Jackson touch children ? yes of course. otherwise he would have been an absolutely terrible father

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What size pants did the gorilla wear? An abnormaly large pair compared to the average human because their weight and width are porportionaly larger for their speices.

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Why did the deaf man ask for directions? He didn't as he knew he wouldnt have a clue what they are on about.

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old spice body spay is so powerfull it can block BO for 16 hours. its so powerfull it can turn of the sun, but then it gets to cold, so it makes another sun........DOUBLE SUN POWWWWWEEEERRRRRRR!!!

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Q: What do you call a girl with no arms or legs, is blind, has no parents, has cancer, and is dyslexic? A: Suzie

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if life gives you lemons, you have some lemons

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What did the dinosaur say to the human? For one, dinosaur's don't talk. And two, humans were not roaming the Earth during this time.

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There were three people on an airplane. A Mexican, an American and an Italian. The plane chrashed and they all died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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