What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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What gets bigger and bigger and bigger, then dies? A baby.

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I saw 2 jews talking. I threw in a penny and watched them fight to the death. I did the same with 2 catholic preasts exept I threw in a baby boy

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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I don't get it

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What does a gay horse eat? Low-energy foods should only be fed to horses who are not regularly being worked and participating in high performance. According to the University of Kentucky's College of Agriculture, energy is vital to horses who need to perform their best as it aids many of the body's functions including muscle contraction, respiration and circulation. Only feed a low-energy diet to an idle horse and feed a high-energy diet to an older or sickly horse and to a working horse.

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What is orange and smells like oranges? Oranges.

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What is worse than the holocaust paying taxes

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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Violence is never the answer, its the question... The answer is YES!

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a mountainous mound of slain human offspring? There is none, the second is conferred to the subject of a conversation using a highly advanced vernacular.

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Wanna hear a joke? no

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why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms why did suzie get hit by a bus? she was blind knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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A man is boarding a plane. The attendant asks if he has a passport. The man says no, and leaves.

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Knock knock Who's there? To To whom? No, its To Who now, since I married

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

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What is big, red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

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What did one ginger say to the other? W are both gingers.

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how do make a condom fly around the room? Piss it off!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

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What's worse than dropping you're ice cream? Getting your face mauled off by a German Shepard.

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Did you know Helen Keller has a pool? no oh well she does.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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