Did u hear about the jew that bought something not on sale? Neither did i.

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Chris:"knock, knock" Rhianna:"owwww..." Chris:"open da door" Rhianna:"so u can punch me in the face" Chris:"duhhh, I jus got brass knuckles"

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How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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2 boys are going to get candy from the store. What happened? A robbery and they were killed

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1:Your reading my text. 2:Your wondering what the point is. 3:Your getting angry. 5:Your going to click thumbs down. 6:But wait! You didn't realize that there was no number 4. 7:Your checking it. 9:Your smiling. 10:Your smiling so much you forgot to check for number 8. 11:Your checking it. 12:Jokes on you.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house? She didn't either.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They then proceed to bake into tasty pastries which are then eaten for snacks or maybe a light breakfast.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

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what's worse than waiting 45 minutes in an amusement park ride? getting your penis chopped off.

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a man walks into a bar with a poodle stuffed halfway up his rectum... WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE!? MY GOD! THIS MAN HAS A DOG UP HIS ANUS!

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knock knock... whos there? NOT BIN LADEN!

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Their was three black men that walked into a bar. They then ordered three drinks and had sex... I lied about walking into a bar

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What's worse than the WNBA? The Cleveland Cavaliers.

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So, I walked into my friends house and MAH DEDDEHS DECK was outside bruh

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Q: what is the best way to pick up jewish chicks. A: with a pickup line and possibly a gift such as chocolates or flowers

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Knock, Knock. Who's there Hey, it's Dave. Oh well come on in.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his kids.

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Eric is gay Ha

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In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

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what happens when you punt a baby in between 2 poles? you get 3 points

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what's black, white, and red all over? A nun in a blender

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Remember when Jesse Ziegenbein was skinny? yeah niether do I

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Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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