What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

what do you call when a penis is inside a vagina? sex

Why did the midget fall from a tall building? Because somebody pushed him.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Impossible, fruits to not have the ability to talk.

why does Tom Sawyer like apples? He likes their flavor

What do you do to vegetables to make them taste good? Nothing. They are still people, and they can't speak up for themselves.

An alligator was found wearing a vest. The investigator had no comment... As alligators are incapable of speech. ^^^

roses are red voilets are red bushes are red trees are red HOLY SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!!!!

Damn Nero... So you are saying there is no hope left, the underground society is dead and buried.

Q. What happened first The Tree or The Apple. A. Johny Appleseed.

A little girl meets a homeless guy named Ian McDermott in downtown Atlanta She then screams stranger danger and a nearby policeman comes and arrests the man.

baby on board sign?? target aquired.............

What did the Christian say to the atheist? "Even though we don't share the same beliefs, I think it's great that we can still be good friends."

Q: What do you call a stop sign in the winter? A: A stop sign in the winter.

how long does it take chuck norris to watch a 24 hour video 24 hours

What did the golfer do when he hit a shot with a lot of pressure on him into the water? He dropped another ball and continued on, for golf is a civilized game and bad manners are prohibited.

3 men of different races walk into a bar. The bartender then proceeds to ask, "what would you 3 men like?"

3 black guys walk into a restaurant and they sat down, ate their meals, and even tipped the waitor handsomely then for about 10 minutes they talk and then leave restaurant. Soon after a white guy comes and holds up the place for all it's money then killing three hostages before being taken down by the police.

A horse and a group of people are the jury in a courtroom. They are expected to vote yay or nay of whether a supposed robber is guilty or not. The jury goes into their room. They come out, and the people vote yay. The room turns to the horse. The horse states his objection very thoughtfully, and then leaves the room.

Vagina Boob

A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

Did you know that if you took all the elephants on earth and lined them up in space, that all the elephants would die???

What is blue and has to deal with a vagina. Blue waffle you know who has that Jews But the jews got it from the gassing and the gassing got it from hitlers wifes piss but the blue waffle came from the lesbian she had sex with when she was doing her lesbian phase but the lesbian got it from her father and the father got it from his wife.

A man was arguing with his wife over the phone at a trainstation. She threatened to leave him he did not stop his physical abuse. The man became so mad he hung up the phone. He then noticed a blind man was grinning at the overheard discussion. The husband walked over and pushed the blind man on the tracks. He died

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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