Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

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A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

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what is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 11 dead babies in a trash can

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Have you seen the movie "Gay Men Say No"? Oh yes, that is very insightful documentary on the modern day struggles of homosexuality.

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Why did Billy run away from a mysterious adult? He was playing the iconic game known as tag where 2+ people chase each other in an attempt to tag them.

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

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A Jewish man, a christian man, and a buddist man walk in bar, They all have to much to drink and are arrested for driving under the influence while trying to get back home.

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If Apple made a house, would it have Windows?

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So you are "The Nero" are you not? How ironic... ...I got nothing on you, let me ask you however, why did you quit the underground society? What changed your lifestyle so much? I mean I accept that you did not do it out of fear or cowardice, but why did you leave it up to the rest of us to try to hold together the last remains of freedom and social information? What? To use your techniques in order to entrance people into buying your books? How is that so different? I am not saying that I consider your methods lesser, because nobody here does, but if you can explain how this makes you better, I would appreciate it, I am certain that most people would.

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A man walks into a bar a bartender says, 'why the long face'? the man says 'I just walked into a bar'!!!

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What do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? A Cog

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate the chicken.

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For every person with a broken heart, there is another person out there with a stapler <3 And that person really needs to staple their math papers together so they can turn them in.

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A man was walking down the street in the pitch black dark and he looked into a pitch black dark window. What did he see? Pitch black dark people.

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So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

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What did the cow say to the Businessman? Nothing. Cows cant talk.

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How did the old guy die? Of death and death related symptoms.

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Q:Why did the Mexican cross the border? A:To come to America to provide for his starving family.

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why was 6 afraid of 9? because 7 ate 9 and 6 is afraid of ghosts

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What did the baseball coach say to his son? Nothing. He was dead.

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Yo momma's so stupid... she scored poorly on on the SAT, failed to get into a good college, worked at a walmart and lived an otherwise mundane life.

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Have you heard the one about the fat woman and the dead baby? The woman was actually pregnant, not fat, and just had a miscarriage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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