Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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What does an Asian person with 3 eyes have? A birth defect.

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bangers and mash?

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So a man walks into a bar and gets drunk.

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A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

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Knock knock Who's there? To To whom? No, its To Who now, since I married

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, I have a retinal hemorrhage

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Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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You wanna know who else messes around a lot? My mom. Do you know who else has the best tacos in town? My mom. Do you know who else doesn't have time for this? My mom. She's a very busy woman; dealing with matters you'd expect a recently divorced mother would have to carry on her shoulders.

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

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what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

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What's the difference between a hundred dead babies and a porsche? A porsche is a car.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Why does tundes food suck? Because he is from Africa and the cuisine is different

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Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

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Whats Pink and fluffy? Yellow fluff thats been dyed pink :D

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Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He was at Victoria's Secret and he wasn't watching where he was going.

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Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

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How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

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Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

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What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops