I hope your not allergic to bees Because your about to be attacked by a live tiger.

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like most people my age. im 27

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What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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Two cats are sat on a window ledge. One cat looks to the other and says "Meoww".

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Why the long face? My face isn't long, it's the same shape as everyone else, retard. I meant why are you sad. I'm not sad.

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? It depends on how sound is defined

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why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

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AAAnd that did not totally send a rush of sweet endorphin's up my spine, I think myself of as really really blunt, I value individualism rather than complete assimilation, I think that, if people want to hear my opinion, they ask me, and if they want to hear what they want to hear, they can ask... Pff, anybody else. I end up insulting a lot of people literally asking for it, but moments like these make it all worth it. I am also extremely superstitious, the catchphra states "Grain of salt" so I wont take your comment completely... I am just screwing around...

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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What do you call an asian jumping off of a building? A suicide victim.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One.

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What do you call two black men riding on a tandem bicycle? Best friends.

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why was the little boy sad he found out he had breast cancer

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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What's green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A pool table

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

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How did 6-year old dyslexic boy start his essay on soap? Sopa is shit...

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why did the clown go to the graveyard? because he was dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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