Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

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why couldnt luke open the door? he had no arms

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What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Slavery.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, you murdered ten people.

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How did the Holocaust start? Hitler threw a penny into the oven

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why was lady crying? Because her ten yer old son died of cancer..

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What happened to the little boy that went to The Penn State locker room? He had a great day meeting the team and watching the football game.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms Why couldnt he get up? He had no legs What did the boy get for Christmas? Cancer What did the boy get for Easter? A funeral Knock, knock Who's there? Not the boy.

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What's worse than rotten eggs? Being dead.

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Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

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What did Han Solo say to Chewy before they got in the Millennium Falcon? Chewy, get in the ship.

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why was the black man scared of cats ? Because a gang of cats ate his family

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Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

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What is the difference between my dog and my girlfriend? I love my dog

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's white and sticky? A stick painted white.

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When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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What happens when you cross a Mexican and a Chinese man? A multiracial man.

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When is a door not a door? When it's a pair of titties!

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Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

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What did the cracker say to the cheese? You're so cheesy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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