Why didn't the little boy have arms or legs? Because they were savagely ripped off of him by a black bear on a very unfortunate camping trip.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What shoots rockets but is not classed as a deadly weapon? A toy rocket launcher, I lied about the rockets.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Whats Barack Obama's favorite number ? 7

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Not only did 7 have that intimidating look to him, but 6 had recently found out that he was a well known mob boss who also went by the name of Lucky Seven. he was in charge of a gang called The Prime Numbers. They had been terrorizing 6's city for sometime now, whether it was stealing, mugging, or even killing or vandalism. 6 sure had a lot to fear, but he knew things might turn out well, as 6 had a great ability to try his best and do what he believed in: Justice

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Well I do want it to end now but...WHAT? How did you get that trough? I thought hypnosis was supposed to increase awareness and focus.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

what did the iphone say to the galagy s3? nothing they are phones.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Antijokes?! More like Antijakes!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the black guy fell from the stairs? Because I threw him

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Q: why does batman die in the end of dark night rises? A: he smoked got cancer and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

charly ate an apple. the apple was filled with poison and charly died.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the piece of gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken's foot.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

knock, , knock , who's there the gas man the gas man who ? the gas man who is gonna turn your gas off !

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What do you call an overly-sexual, chewbacca-like creature that smokes cocaine and shoots heroin, while beating its offspring? Mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the man jump off the cliff? Because he suffered from chronic depression as a result of frequent drug abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A Jew man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How do you post a Tasmanian devil? Recorded Delivery

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Have you heats about the Guy who's parents died in à car crash... No He killen himself because of hus parents Deathstars

thumb_up thumb_down -32

When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What did the nun eat for breakfast? Baseballs.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

rose are red so is u want to know why because i shot her

thumb_up thumb_down -32

This is not an anti-joke... A man is walking down a street and see's a small boy crying in an alley. The man walks up to him and asks him "What's wrong little guy?" The boy replies that his family is poor, they just got evicted from there house and his parents decided to kill themselves. The man decides out of guilt to bring the boy home and support him for a few days. Three days later the man see's a note on the couch that says "Thank You..." Signed Jamal. The man sighs and says to himself "Your Welcome." The man walks into his room and see's the boy's body in his closet. He starts hysterically laughing and cries into his pillow for many minutes. When he is done sobbing he asks himself "What could be worst than this?" The man walks to his kitchen asking that question over and over. He reaches into his cabinet and grabs his cereal and pours into his bowl. The boy walks out chuckling and says, "Bye bye..." The man was poisoned and died. Now the boy get's the other cereal out and is about to pour it only to find out it was empty. "Screw the Holocaust this SUCKS!!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops