What's an X-BOX? A box where you find a treasure

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What's the difference between a nutcracker and a can of tomato soup? Oh... I don't know, I was asking you.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sara

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You're so black that other black people make fun of how black you are.

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Hey Jake can I use your lawnmower? Why Michael, so you can run over my cat like you did last night

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how do you get a scouters power level to 9,000? power levels dont exist in real life therefore cannot reach 9,000

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What did the Big Chimney say to the Little Chimney? Nothing, chimneys are unable to talk.

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Why'd Mary fall off her bike? Because she was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Mary... O.o

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when push comes to shove, shove repeatedly explains to push that she needs to stop stealing his money and find a new place to live. Push then leaves, allowing shove to return back to his sofa and finish watching the basketball game.

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Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens, this is probably similar to other countries in similar situations such as middle eastern, eastern european, and latin and south america. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because blind people aren't allowed to drive in the United States.

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Q: What's the difference between a grasshopper and pencil? A: Lots

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A circus clown riding the cutest miniture Shetland pony both fall over a cliff and die.

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Guess what day it is!!! Sunday? Monday? Tuesday? Wednesday? Thursday? Friday? Saturday? IT'S HUMPDAY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away? What about the vampires?

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I was on Skype with a girl yesterday and she asked "Do you want to see something?" "No," I said "my mom's in the room and she might get a bad interpretation." "I really want you to see this." She said. " No, my mom's still in the room, she'll think I'm weird if you turn out the lights." "Darn I really wanted to see your glow in the dark snuggie."

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What happens when Chuck Norris and Mr. T get into a car accident? They trade insurance information.

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roses are red violets are blue you little stupid a*s b**ch i aint f***ing with you

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What do you say to a horse at the vet? Good god, look at that ear infection.

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Wha do you call a couple with aids? 2 pepole who need immediate health treatment.

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How do you know a black person is in your house? You see him in your house.

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Kevin+Sean sitting in a tree enjoying mcdonald's free wifi.

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An astronaut walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After waiting for about 1 and a half minutes he receives his beer. The bartender says it was 3 dollars. The astronaut checks his wallet and finds no money so he pays with credit card. The bartender swipes his credit card but the card doesn't work. So the astronaut takes out his debit card. When the bartender swipes the debit card it worked. In relief the astronaut looks at the bartender and says "Thank you" and then goes home.

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Tilt your screen back .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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