A guy walks into a bar and is promptly escorted out because he is only 19 years old.

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Q: What's multicoloured and spins around while screaming in agony? A: A clown in a washing machine.

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It's green, has four legs and sits in a tree. And if it falls on your head you're dead. A billiard table.

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A dyslexic athiest..."'There is no Dog!"

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Have you tried Ethiopian food? -no -well it's really good

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what do you call lots of jews on a train? Call them what you want they aren't coming back!

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wioFUrwny1c

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Why did Sally dance and record it on Vine? She did it for the Vine

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide

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So there were these two ovens in a muffin. One oven said "Holy fuck it's muffiny in here." The other oven said "Holy fuck a talking oven!"

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Q: Why is it so that antijokes often give you a funny answer? A:.... *hayroll* *crickets* Moral: Im the MoranautBitch!

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A black guy and a Hispanic guy are in a car together. Who's driving? The black guy.

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Kittens are orange, puppies are grey, and they both make good pets

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What Do call a dog with an e A doge

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How do you get a nun pregnant? Artificial insemination.

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Why did the Flyers lose to the Blackhawks in the Stanley Cup? Because they aren't as good as the Blackhawks.

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why was the clown sad? because his wife left him

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why does my face bleeding theres an axe in it

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cock in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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How many are in a baker's dozen? 12 bakers

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you But the roses have wiltered The violets are dead The sugar bowl is empty And so is your head

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops