69

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how you throw 'em.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What has 4 black legs, a green back, and will kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Joker: Knock knock Batman: Who's there Joker: Not your parents

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why couldn't the bunny hop? Because it lost both it's legs

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do a turtle and an eagle have in common? They can both fly. Except for the turtle.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why did the asian kid do well on his math test because he studied

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the chicken cross the playground. He didn't. chickens are unsanitary to have in schools

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Did I invite you to my birthday party? No. Then why are you at my birthday party?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why does the Batman theme song have 'na na na na na na na na' in it so many times? I guess Batman really likes sodium. Or maybe his record player's broken.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? A basketball.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A police officer asks a witness of a murder what he witnessed. The man replies "A murder"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

your mummas so ugley that it looks like it court fire and your family put it out with forkes

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Where does a one-legged waitress work? Wherever she can get good health insurance.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Tom: Hey Fred. Do you wanna hear a joke? Fred: Sure Tom! (long pause) (10 Minutes Later) Fred: Tom, I thought you were gonna tell me a joke? Tom: I did, the joke is that there is no joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How fast can you paint a fence with babies? Depends how fast you can throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

how many jews does it take to fit in a mid-size sedan? -5 comfortably.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's black and has the texture of tar? Molasses

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Fenestrade De Riguerto sat aloft his might horse Bentereuse and called for his brigadiers. At home his wife was opening a package. 2 minutes later a sound could be heard reverberating across the countryside. It was the invasion fleet from Denarus V wiping out humanity

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police, your entire family died in a car accident. ... ... The police, your entire family died in a car accident who?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's worse than being fired? Eating a bucket of diarrhea.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops