A:Why did the chicken cross the road? B:To get The Daily.....Do you get it. A:No. B:Me neither..I get The Times.

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Why was the boy walking in circles? One of his feet was nailed to the floor...

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Where did the drunk Mother drive? Back to the Bar because she forgot her Baby.. Except she left it left it on the roof of the car...

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when life throws you lemons you should watch out or you might get hurt.

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So the priest took the 6 year old boy into the confessional...and He told him to say 3 Hail Mary's.

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What's funnier than 24? My life.

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So there's this guy, and he's trying to screw in a lightbulb, right? Well, he did it. Hoorah. His wife was proud.

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I forgot my joke about gamblers, but i bet you would have loved it!

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Pete and Repeat were sitting in a boat. Pete fell off. I hope he was wearing a personal flotation device.

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How do you make Adolf Hitler angry? You can't, dead people are not sentient, and hence cannot feel anger.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? No one knows.

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Three Men walk into a bar. One with a ax and one with a Shovel. The other one isn't holding anything. *Boom* (\ _ /) (x . x)

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What is white and can fly? A fridge that can't fly.

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What is green, slimy and has 8 legs? Uncle Martin

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did you know that zach is the coolest person ever? no? well now you know

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Roses are red, violets are blue, grass is green, sky is blue, dirt is brown, fire is orange, water is transparent, powder is white

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What did the dog do in the phone booth? Nothing, as dog do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grip objects. The previous user must have left the door open and the dog walked in, only to leave a few moments later.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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What happens if you Put a Mental Patient in a cage He goes crazy, Develops schizophrenia and Eventually dies of Many Incurable Diseases

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? .The Police The Police who? ..The Police The Police who? ...The Police The Police who? ....The Police The Police who? .....The Police The Police who? ......The Police The Police who? .......The Police The Police who? ........The Police The Police who? .........The Police The Police who? ..........The Police The Police who? Forget this. *Gunshot*

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Was in a coma, survived trough smoke and mirrors, and I had 3 separated sections of my order in order to test the efficiency of my words, united we are about 6.800.000 people. Excuse my anger below, I mean I was in a coma and ended up on some hard painkillers, and while I am still tapering down on a "totally medicinally safe" dosage of 20 mg valium its a bitch, even for a guy that enjoys a mild painkiller every now and then in order to focus. Excuse my excessive typing, its paincontrol vs the stress and all 64 side effects of valium. I am alive, and my followers know that, I do not mean to brag, but Neronism tends to end up fucked up when I am gone with people trying to live up to what only I can do apparently, so I decided it was time to mash the separate groups together... Btw, we live at point zero now, if you do not know where that is, I can inform you at later time. But be quick about it if you have more questions, we only chat on horsehead due the "discussed hours"

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Why are all black people fast? because all the slow ones are in jail.

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How do you keep a dummy in suspense for 24 hours? Tell him his wife suffered from a severe concussion and that he'll have to wait until morning to see if she's okay

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A blind man walks into a bar. It was a book shop.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops