A man walks into a bar. He's black. Its 1962. He is immediately arrested.

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What is the best way to run a race? Start out fast, run fast in the middle, and finish fast.

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Two pies where sitting in a oven when one of the pies says: God damn it's hot in here. The other pie screams out loud: HOLY SHIT A TALKING PIE!

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Q: what is blue and floats in a pool? A: a baby Q: what is purple and at the bottom of the pool? A: the baby 5 minutes later

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

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The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

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How do you hurt a clown? shoot it.

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Where is one place everyone eventually goes to rest? A cemetery.

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"Torture the orphans as much as you want. Who they gonna tell? Their parents?"

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what do you get if you put a baby in a microwave? an erection

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Joe Paterno walks into a police station.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Why can't the T-rex clap? Because it's extinct

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. At least that's what I've heard, I'm blind.

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What do you get when you cross a crocodile and a couch? A coat because vests don't have sleeves.

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Yo mama's so fat, she weighs 283 pounds.

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Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

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What do you call an Asian man without any clothes on? -naked

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness. Oh come on in, I would love to learn more about your religion.

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Why do so many black people like watermelon? The same reason so many white people, do. Have you had that stuff, it's really good!

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What kind of ship never sinks? Not the Titanic.

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Why did the girl blush when she opened the fridge? Because she saw the salad dressing

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What did the man get from killing his own wife and children? A boner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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