A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver comes into the bar and gulps down the guys drink and the guy starts crying the lorry driver says "dont cry ill buy you another" thee guy sas "it's not that today i woke up late for work and when i got there i got fired and then when i went to go home feeling depressed my car doesnt startand so i walk home and i find my wife in bed with the gardener and so i came here to die but you drank my poison"

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How does Michael J. Fox mix his paint? He uses the paint mixing stick that is provided, for free, by most reputable hardware stores.

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Ask me what my name is. What's your name. My name is Jeff.

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Q: why did the dog fall down the stairs? A: Because I pushed him down.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got into the car? "Robin, get in the car."

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Arms and legs, NOT GET IN MY MINIVAN!

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david give me my money back... i will have it next week

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What happens when a right turn is finally made in NASCAR? The driver has successfully changed his tires and has been refueled, now he is pulling out of pit lane.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw 'em.

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Why did Sandra fall of the swing? She had no arms... Knock Knock Who is there? Not Sandra

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if you didn't know that, go back to school.

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What worse than stubbing your toe? Getting raped by a panda.

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What's faster than a Nascar Racecar? My thoughts. -Juanita

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What do you call a man who has lost both his legs, one arm, and half his eye? Larry

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What do you call a lubia chin jew slave? Kia

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What do Jay Williams, Lebron James, Candace Parker and Maya Moore have in common? They were all winners of the Morgan Wootten Player of the Year Award.

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what do you call a man with cheese on his face? cheese face

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A duck walks into a bar and the bartender--TOAST

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why is kool-aid so sweet? Because it contains sugar

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That moment when the best part of your life is when you get 50 friends on Facebook....

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Why did the baby stop crying? I hit him with a brick.

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Q: Why did the grand mother drop her cane? A: She got pused out a window.

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What did the horse with herpes say to Paul? Ney

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What do you call two babys with one head? I dont know either, answers on postcard please!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops