What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Roast Beef is a solid and Pea Soup is a liquid

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What are we ? Students ! What do we want ? Six months holiday ! When do we want it ? Twice a year !

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My wife made me a sandwich

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Did you hear about the 4'10" psychic that escaped from prison? It's on the news! "Small Medium At Large."

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Why did the chicken cross the road Who the f*** let out the chicken

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I can't submit this joke because I got the captcha wrong

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Q: Why do Indians smell? A: Cause they have noses? Racist.

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why did the teacher say that the student did well in class? because the student did well in class

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Why didn't the Mother packed her son's lunch? Because her son Timmy likes to go to the canteen

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Identical jokes get different amounts of votes

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what do you find at the top of mountains? things

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Tom: Hey Fred. Do you wanna hear a joke? Fred: Sure Tom! (long pause) (10 Minutes Later) Fred: Tom, I thought you were gonna tell me a joke? Tom: I did, the joke is that there is no joke.

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Why did the baby cross the road? 'cause i kicked it.

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Q: What do you call a real joke on anti joke A: Someone obviously don't understand the concept of this website

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A woman walks into a bar She is raped.

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Why aren't anti jokes funny? Idk. Watermelon in your pants, you're adopted.

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i am not a pothead!!! the only time ive evr been high was springbreak last year!!! mm hmm... wat were u doin over spring break to get high? i had jaw surgery and the doctor had me on tons of painkillers

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GOODBYE

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Why didn't cancer cross the road? Because it was to busy taking my family.

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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The sentence below is an anti-joke.

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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So a man walks into a bar… and gets a bad bruise and a big bump.

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My mom told me I was pretty, I know now that she is a liar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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