Why was the young child dead in the middle of the road? His mother wasn't there to prevent him from chasing the ball across the road, and therefore, he ran in front of a truck

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What did the Polack do in the rainstorm? He got wet.

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Why did the woman drown in the bathtub? Her husband was holding her under.

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What's white and looks like paper? Paper.

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Want to know a joke? There is no joke.

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Bob: "Did you eat my sandwich?" Alex: "I am your sandwich."

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Q. What do you get if you cross a suspicious person with a paranoid person? A. Who wants to know

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What do you call a baked bean falling from 10,000 feet? A baked bean

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Why didn't the dog want to cross the road? there was a flea market on the other side.

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You are basically asking if I care for you, care for me, and if this could put us both in risk... There is no picking at this stage, why would I use you?

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Why did Jennifer shit herself? Because there was a black man staring through her window!

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How is a presidential election like Alien vs. Predator? Whoever wins, we lose.

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why did the movie get bad reviews? it was a bad movie

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Why do cow say moo? Because you touch yourself at night

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Why was the boy sad? His parents died in a horrible accient earlier that day.

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Why did the man stop going to his local doctor? Because they put highly poisen liquids in the shots

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Why did Ian pass his CRB check? Because he committed his crimes on holiday

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im gay

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just two, but I'd like to know how they got in there.

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Why did the black person jump the fences? because he was in a relay race.

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Gotta go Mark Gotta go Mark MARK MARKMARKMARK! Moving at the speed of mark I'm the quickest mark around Got ourselves a mark Start getting a new mark Without any mark On top of mark! Go- Go- Go- Don't mark Don't mark Just markmarkmarkmark! mark, he's on the run mark, he's number one mark, he's coming next so watch out for mark X! Gotta go mark, gotta go mark mark mark markmarkmark Go go go go go go go go go! marrrrrkkk X!!

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What's beneath Chuck Norris's beard? A chin I presume, as that is what most humans have under their beards. Chuck Norris is a human and therefore is likely to have a chin. This is all based on the assumption that he is a human, because of the many characteristics he has shown that are humanlike.

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Billy was taking a stroll in the forest, when suddenly he met a bear. Billy remember what his father had taught him, and quikly lied down on the ground, pretending to be dead. The bear started licking Billy's face. Still he remained calm. The bear bit off Billys finger. Still he did not move. When the bear ate Billy's foot, he nearly panicked. But thinking of his wife and children he mustered his last remaining strenght, and did not move a muscle. If he tried to run or fight the bear he would surely die and never see them again. Then the bear ate Billys head.

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If you give a mouse a cookie, he will probably eat it then have a heart attack due to the high level of sugar in the cookie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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