Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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Why did the girl run to school Because a lion was chasing her

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How do you punish Helen Keller You don't, she's dead

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What's got 2 thumbs and a massive penis? A body parts collector I know called Harold Fortescue

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What is similar between a penguin and a newspaper? If you kill a penguin, then grind it up into a fine powder, then the penguin becomes a newspaper.

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What did the bank clerk say to the robber when he demanded all the money in the drawer? "Okay."

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a man makes a bad joke

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Guess what? What? Your dog is dead.

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A dog walks into a forest and sees a whale. The dog asks "aren't you supposed to be in the ocean?" The whale replies, "yes."

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Chuck Norris was once engaged by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What do you call a creepy person trying to break into your house? A robber

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why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it got hit by a bus.

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What did the flower say to the flowerpot? Nice weather we're having

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A man walks into a bar He orders a beer, drinks the beer, then leaves.

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What is the difference between a baby and a log? I don't have a log in my fireplace

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house No Neither has he.

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What did the homosexual community have last night? A protest for gay rights.

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What is bloody and has two legs? Half of a cat.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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If everyone in China jumped up and down at the same time they would lose all credibility as a nation for organising such a pointless excursion.

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roses are red , violets are blue i love bernard he loves me too if you take him from my place i'll smash my fist in your face.

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Knock knock Who's there Your Mother Come in

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how do you complete an exam. dont be kaizen.

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Q. How many Jews can you fit in a car? A. Four, I drive a Volkswagen Jetta

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops