Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because her dad pushed her too hard -Knock knock -Who's there? -Suzie, I'm dead now with a knife through my neck and I'm ready to kill you since you didn't forward that chain letter, now hold still so I can chop off your toes one by one and peel your skin off then leave a bloody mess for your parents -k

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A man wakes up in the hospital after being in a car accident. He begins to yell "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor hurries into the room to find out why the patient is yelling. The doctor then promptly explains that this was due to the crash severing his spinal cord and rendering him paraplegic for the rest of his life. The doctor after explaining this states he'll never walk again, before leaving the patient's room.

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What killed Hitler? His gas bill.

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What's the difference between Micheal Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Micheal Jackson has never been on the moon, Neil Armstrong never had plastic surgery and Micheal was a pop star.

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Yo mama is so fat she could be a plus size model because she's big and hot.

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roses are red, violets are are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you

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What did the doctor say to the obese person? You have diabetes.

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What did Timmothy get when he got back from his vacation in a tropical destination? Malaria.

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Whats worse to see 100 dead babies on the bed of a truck or 100 fake babies falling directly from the empire state building... I don't know I have never seen either but if you could tell me if you saw it maybe i can use my imaination!!!

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Two Drunks walk out of a bar. They look down an alley and see a dog licking his balls. The first drunk says" Man, I wish I could do that." The second guy replies " Well you better pet him first."

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There was 3 floors in a building. The man outside was watering plants. The man on the first floor was doing laundry. The man on the second floor was peeing out the window because the toilet wasn't working. The man on the third floor was cutting vegetables and accidentally dropped his knife out the window. Now, the four men all went out to tell what they did that day. The man on the third floor said that he was cutting veggies and dropped his knife out the window. The man on the second floor said that he got his wiener cut off. The man on the first floor said that he was just doing laundry. Then, the man outside said that he was watering plants and found a delicious sausage on the ground and he ate it.

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Why was Johnny so sad His father beat his mother

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So there is a muslum, then he flew a plane into a building and died a sudden death. But he was wearing a helmet.

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Why can't the T-Rex give high fives? Because they are extinct.

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Roses are nice, Violets are glorious, Try not to scare, Oscar Pistorius.

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing. Walls don't talk.

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why did every one care when i killed my self they didn't

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Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his power level? I can't remember... :(

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Whats better than ten dead babys in one trashcan??? One dead baby in ten trashcans.

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roses are red violets are twisted turn around bitch your about to get fisted

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wanna hear a sad joke? you! by mad james

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did you hear the one about the gay child molester?

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whatt dont w do you call a person with legs that dont work Crippled

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Chris Bosh's neck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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