Two peanuts are walking down the street. One of them was a salted Peanut

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A boy walks into a bar. He wakes up in a hospital 3 days later with a bruise on his head. He asks the doctor, "What happened?" The doctor replies, "The bartender smashed a glass on your forehead."

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Why are fire trucks red Well fire trucks have 4 wheels, and they have 8 people in them, 4+8, is 12, there are 12 inches in a foot, a foot is a ruler, Queen Elizabeth was a ruler, Queen Elizabeth was a boat, boats sail the seven seas, fish are in the seven seas, fish have fins, the Finns defeated the Russians, Russians are red, And that is why fire trucks are red.

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A homeless man begged and begged for a dollar to buy something. A man finally gave him his dollar. What did the hobo buy? Nothing he walked into 711 and then got shot.

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There was once a man with a penis so huge, his girlfriend liked their sexual experiences very much. A year later they got married and had kids, however the man got fired from his accounting job and it all went downhill.

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OMG I was sexting my friend and I accidentally sent my naked picture to my parents. What do I do? Tell your friend that you accidentally sent your naked picture to your parents.

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Why did the money due? Because it fell out of the tree

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What's the difference between a black man and a Ginger? Their pigmentation.

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A bear and a furry bunny rabbit were in the woods. The bear ate the rabbit..

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Knock Knock. Who's there? (Knocker runs for his life).

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What did the shy guy say at the speech? Nothing

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how many mexicas does it take to.... on wait there done

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What do you call a Muslim man flying a plane? The pilot.

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If Chuck Norris has $5 and you have $5... that's $10.

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That was me, I thought we where friends now... I am so sorry, I really did not send anyone nor anything, I would never do such a thing! What happened to you is terrible, I did say I knew who they where and that they are in prison, but that was a lie, I just wanted for you to think I was really confident and in control. Please Nero, let me speak to you, nothing is like you think, Jenny is my stepmother, please don't do anything.

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I had a submarine.... once

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What did the mexican firefighter name his 2 children? Jose and Juan.

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Why did the ship get lost at sea? The captain was a piece of bread.

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What do you call a girl who has recently been raped? Dead.

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Of course, you have always found more joy in seeing others happy, that pursuing your own happiness.

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Why did the woman pay $5,000 for a gallon of milk? She didn't. She paid $2.99.

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If it looks like a chicken and acts like a chicken, its most likely not a deadly crab running towards you with a knife that has rabies and is afraid of towels.

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wht does a blonde do with a box of crayons? eat a taco.

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Whats worse than getting in an arrow in the side of your neck Finding out there is a gas bill tied to it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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