A blond Canadian and his Korean friend are going together to Korea. When checking in the person asks the Canadian if he has a return ticket leaving the country. He replies yes but he does not have it on him. According to Korean Customs and Immigration laws a non-Korean citizen must have a return ticket to enter the country. Inevitably follows a long and tedious process in order to procure the ticket in order to pass customs. The Korean and the Canadian continue to their boarding gate.

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“Ok, time for bed” … is what I said to the empty living-room. It was getting late, and the internet no longer amused me. I picked up my cell phone, rooted through the couch cushions until I located the remote, and turned off the television that had been nothing but background noise for the last few hours. I made sure the front and back doors were securely locked, walked around the back of the couch, and turned off the only light. A tap on the screen of my phone created just enough light to keep from busting a toe on an errant table leg. Because my cats have an evil tendency to lie in the middle of the hallway, I aimed the small amount of light from my phone directly in front of my tired and shuffling feet. I’d only covered a small distance before I knew, from many nights of this same regimen, that I was getting close to the bedroom door. At this point my arm started the slow upward arc that would eventually illuminate the now pitch-black opening to the comfort of my room. The light emanating from my cell was quite dim, and this action had become quite rote, so my arc was about waist level before I noticed a slight variation of the familiar black of the open doorway. At that point, and in a disturbingly short amount of time, five things happened nearly simultaneously: My arm, the arm carrying the phone, continued to rise in its predetermined arc, having been an object in motion which would stay in motion. I released a small gasp and exclaimed to my husband that his sudden appearance in the dark had startled the breath from me. I remembered that my husband was at work. The light arc reached its apex on a face of protruding nail-like teeth. A face suspiciously bereft of eyes, with a gaping, oozing, bloody pit where a nose should have been. The light went out.

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What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby? I take my cleats off when I jump on the trampoline

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What does a blonde say when she walks into a bar? Ow

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A Russian drinking something other than vodka.

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On a scale of 1 to 10, 7 being the highest, what is you favorite color

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UN

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Irish man English man and a Scottish man all in a plane they jump out then they land

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Q: What did the dog say to the owner when he took him to the vet? A: Nothing. It's a dog. It can't talk.

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? well if 7 8 9 then what happened to the rest?

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Two gay guys are cuddling in a park when they spot a hot, busty blonde jogging near them. One turns to the other and says, "Damn... It's days like this I wish I was a lesbian."

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A cat starts grooming itself How many sprinkles does it take to cover the moon Cabinet because whales live in water

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Holocost jokes arent even that funny, Anne Frank-ly they annoy me.

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Why did the police officer pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

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Knock knock Who's There? Me I kill you again HA HA HA

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A black man, an arabic man, and a hispanic man are all in a car, who is driving? The black man.

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A Jew and a Muslim are playing golf. Just not together.

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Birdie Birdie in the Sky, Left a message in my eye ... So I shot the little bitch

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VaginaBoob ^.^

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Yo mama so old when I slapped her on the back her tits fell off.

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Why do Christian protest against gay marriage? They protest because they believe gay marriage is a sin.

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Dr. I need a new butt, mine has a crack in it.

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How do rocket scientists exchange greetings? They say "hi"

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What did the little boy with cancer ask for from the Make a Wish foundation. A cure and to lose his virginity before he dies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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