- Anti Joke

I went to the doctor & he gave only 6 months to live. I told him I couldn't pay my bill, he said "that doesn't change the fact you're going to die soon."

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because it thought that it would somehow increase its chances of survival.

why did susie fall off the dollar coaster? it only cost 50 cents susie is gone now

What do you get when you cross a dog and a school bus? A dog and a school bus are not sexually compatible and therefore they cannot reproduce.

Whats black, white, and red all over? Hot sauce on a checkerboard.

What did the monkey say to the receptionist? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

Bear walks into bar and says to eagle may I have a................... drink eagle says why the long pause hohahahohahahohaha

Why does Rupert The Bear wear checkered trousers? Because he's a twat.

Why didn't the Orphan finish his lemonade. His legs got chopped off.

All the kids at school we're playing soccer on a sunny day except Jenny, because she had a headache and didn't come to school that day

Do you know what kind of world I dream of? Until you tell me, no I don't. How could I? I'm not telepathic, after all.

One day a boy asks his teacher what blue velvet is then the teacher says "we don't ask questions like that in my class go to principal's office now"so the boy goes to the principal's office and then the boy asks "what is blue velvet"then the principal says"no one says that in my school get out" so the boy goes home and asks his mom what is blue velvet then his mom says you don't say stuff like that in my house get out!so the boy see's the Mayer. So the boy asks the Mayer what blue velvet is then the Mayer says no one says that in my town get out of my town! So the boy see's a man and the boy goes to the man and the man asks what happend to you and the boy says well I got kicked out of school kicked out of my house and got thrown out of town just because i asked what blue velvet is! So the man tells the boy that there is a lady across the street. So the boy is in the road and then the boy gets ran over and dies. So the lesson here is look both ways before crossing a street

How did the baby survive the car accident? He didn't. He was killed on impact.

What is green and has wheels? A blue car.

Why did silly Miss Sally put her baby in the dishwasher? Because she was suffering from advanced stages of Schizophrenia. She thought that her baby was a dish. Her mother, Carol watched in horror as her granddaughter was placed inside. A tear dribbled from her eye. Things had been bad, but because Sally was her daughter, she had been tolerant. Carol sobbed as the baby screamed in terror, unable to escape. Finally, Carol, tears in her eyes, called Child Protective Services on her own daughter, something she didn't want to do. When CPS representatives finally came, they were horrified at the sight of a screaming baby covered in suds with burnt skin that had been scorched by hot jets. Sally's baby, Alex was taken from her and put into foster care.

Obama

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

I went to the doctor & he gave only 6 months to live. I told him I couldn't pay my bill, he said "that doesn't change the fact you're going to die soon."

Little Susie fell of the swings. Where did she go? On the ground.

What happened when the engineering student studied for a physics final? They failed.

What's black and fast? A treadmill.

when nothing goes right go left because if you go straight you will fall off the cliff

A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a drink.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

A horse walks into a bar. The horse says "why the short face?"

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.