Yo mama so fat because it's in her genes.

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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Who lives in a pineaplle under the sea? Nobody but bacteria that will slowly eat your stomach.

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A man walks into a bar He says "ow" and promptly sits down and ices the bruise he sustained

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Q: What did the psychopath dream about? A: An insane chimpanzee kicking his head off, or maybe something normal

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Do you have to make frequent trips to the bathroom? Do you have a weak or broken stream? Do you leave the bathroom feeling satisfied? Do your frequent trips to the bathroom interrupt everyday activities? Well you should take Lunesta and just sleep. Then you wouldn't have this problem.

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Whats funnier than 24.....25

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that moment when the last few ceral are like "Come on catch me bitch"

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What's it called when One Direction wins a Grammy Award? It's never going to happen; so why give it a name?

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what is very tall and red a very tall red building

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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what did blonde say to the square? ur a square which is comprised of four equal sides and always have four lines of symmetry.

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What do you do if there's a rabid elephant chasing behind you, a vicious jaguar to your right, a rearing horse to your left, and a bloodthirsty lion in front of you? Innoculate yourself with a rabies vaccine, prod the jaguar on the nose with a stick (they hate that and will probably flee as a result), speak softly and calmly to the horse and encourage the lion to go for the elephant instead of you. You will probably still die as a combined result of mauling and trampling, and it's unlikely that you'll have two rabies vaccines to hand by chance for such situations, but your chances of survival will be minimally improved.

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Q: What's worse than one dead baby at the bottom of a trash can? A: One dead baby in ten trash cans.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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I was in the 74th hunger games I hid in the cornucopia until almost everyone was dead. Then I saw Katniss and Peeta so while they were distracted with night lock I pulled a rubber chicken out of my ass and beat the shit out of them till they died then I won the 75th hunger game also. They asked me to be there mocking jay but I killed them all and blew the plane up in the Capitol the end. By Adam Chebali

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What do you call it one an Arab and a Jew get married? Love.

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Jeez Bill, how drunk was I last night? You took my pet parakeet, threw it at my daughter's piggy bank and yelled "ANGRY BIRDS!!!!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Hurricane Irene.

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Holy Tulip Answer- Sexy Mofo

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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What is big, hard, and bushy? My Penis. I lied about it being bushy.

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How many feet are in a yard? It depends how many people are in the yard.

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What happen when a penguin walks into a bar? That is an almost impossible occasion. Penguins first of all waddle not walk and they only live in Antarctica and zoos, therefor they will not be able to enter one unless Antarctica becomes populated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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