Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but his stomach was not big enough to finish. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free meal.

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Two members of the KKK walk into the bar into a bar. The bartender asks, "what do you think of Obama?" One of the KKK members says "he is my President, I respect him."

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Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

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shit is shit, even if you paint it purple; its still shit

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What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

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A kangaroo walks into a bar and says "Lipstick is the blood of all wounds." The bartender does not know how the kangaroo said this or why.

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Whats black, white, and red all over? Hot sauce on a checkerboard.

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Why was the Microsoft fan happy? Because Steve Jobs died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To try and get hit by a car.

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Why did the ginger cross the road? To tell the police that her family had been taken hostage.

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and the holocaust? A pile of dead babies isn't funny

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"Sh*t!" cursed the man. "You're such a potty mouth!" replied the unamused toilet.

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Why did the man commit suicide? Because on top of his depression, his wife had been cheating on him and his kids all died in a horrible hand-gliding mishap.

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What's worse than a pimple? Finding out it's a botfly.

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What has 4 black legs, a green back, and will kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

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Did I invite you to my birthday party? No. Then why are you at my birthday party?

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Face...tastes like chicken!

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How did you know it was bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? When his clock's big hand met the little hand, usually at 10 or 11, though sometimes later if he had a concert that night.

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What did the down syndrome girl get for christmas? Cancer.

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Q) why did jimmy kick the bucket. A) Because his dad is an alcoholic and Beats him to the point of near death, so He takes his anger out by kicking anatomit Objects such as a bucket.

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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Why do alcoholics use brown bags? Because they are ashamed of what they have become and seek to repress their guilt by entering into denial.

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So two cannibals are eating a clown. Cannibal one: Does this taste funny to you? Cannibal two: Considering that this man was a clown he must have been in poverty so he resulted to being an alcoholic and maybe over dosed on over the counter drugs. Cannibal one: Thank you for that reasonable answer.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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