What do you call a 2 storied house ?

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i want to watch t.v, how do u turn it on? idk, do u know how? idk either, i cant see or hear then y do u want to watch t.v wuts a tv?

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How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? ...get back in the kitchen, I'm hungry

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how do you tell the difference between a jew and a muslim? you ask them what their religion is.

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how do you kill chuck norris. you don't

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What do you call a blue chair A black person

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Whats a hobbo's favorite food? Trash

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what did the man say to his wife? I love you

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Why is Justin bieber gay? Because he is atracted to men

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Q: What do you call a cow wearing a hat? A: A cow wearing a hat.

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Its true... Chuck Norris has no hair on his balls. Because hair doesnt grow on steel.

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A mexican and a black man are in a car. Who's driving? The black man. The mexican got his arms shot off in the war and is severely paralyzed. God Bless our troops. Thank you for serving us.

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Clyde: Hey John! :D John: Hey clyde! :D Clyde: :D! John: :D! Clyde: :D, :), :|, :(, D'X John: ? hey man, are you ok? Wtf is going on with you? Clyde: Man, it's not me... :'(... It's you... It's your... Your... John: My what? Clyde: YOUR FACE!!!! D'X

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your doctor, You've been diagnosed with venereal disease.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Roses are red. Violets are black. Why is your chest, As flat as my back?

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whats black and has many friends? a kind sociable black person

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A redundant man walked into a bar. He sat down, and unfortunately, we learn 5 minutes later that his wife died.

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A man walks into a bar, he is then escorted to the hospital as a result of brain trauma.

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Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

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whats white and big and white? alot of things...

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Why did the airplane crash? A loaf of bread was the pilot.

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There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a truck? No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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