Q: Why was the prostitute's mouth sore? A: She had multiple cavities due to poor dental hygiene.

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What's big and grey and can't climb trees? A car park.

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How long does it take a woman to park a car? Shouldn't take long, depends on the size of the parking spot.

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Robert: wanna hear a joke? Robort:ok, shoot. Robert: *BANG!*

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Q. How do you blindfold a Chinese man? A. With a blindfold.

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What KFC? Deep fried aborted babies.

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?... CAUSE HE FELT LIKE IT, IDIOT

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What is the best thing in the world? The opposite of the worst thing in the world.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck, if a wood chuck could chuck oak? Well, If an oatmeal man could oat chuck oat, then a wood oat chucker could chuck oats.

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Why is Sophie incapable of Lifeguarding correctly? Because she only has limited use of all of her senses , especially hearing,

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My Butthole.

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What happened when the dog was was let out to chase the rabbit? It caught the rabbit and killed it.

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How many retards does it take to screw in a lightbulb? No number of them could figure it out. They sit in the dark for hours, scared of the monsters.

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whats red and smells like blue paint? blue paint on the rag

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What do you call seven pine trees and a roll of toilet paper? Mongoloid.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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what did the woman say when the guy told her he liked her christmas tree? thank you.

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whats up with the irish jokes? Honestly im not a alcoholic so all of you can go F*** yourselfs...

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How do you make a salesperson cry? Shoot him in the face and throw him off a cliff

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Q: why did the 10 year old squirt his dad with the water hose? A: what 10 year old WOULDN'T?

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What do you call a shark on land A dead shark

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What happened to the blonde who blew out her birthday candles? Her hair caught on fire

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 3, according to Mr. Owl

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Everything's brown Who shit on my flowers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops