A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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When life hands you lemons you can't make lemonade, Sugar and Water are two other key ingredients that were not included with the lemons.

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daughter: Mum why do I have a brother mum: He not your real brother dont worry your adopted :) daughter: :'(

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Q: Why are Dino-Nuggets so good? A: Because they are nuggets in the shape of dinosaurs.

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Why are butt pirates butt pirates? Because they just ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR FRUITS

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a chicken and was probably not aware that it was walking across a road at all, especially considering that it was likely in a low-traffic rural area.

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What did little Susie give to young Billy on Christmas? Genital Herpes.

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What's green, covered in cookie crumbs, and lies in a ditch? A Girl Scout that was hit by a car.

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Why did the man go bra shopping? Cause he is a single father and his teenage daughter needs a new one.

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Why did Julia fall of the swings? She had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Julia.

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whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer

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what sucks blows and gets laid in the closet. YOUR MOM VACUMING

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Keep talking shit bitch, and I'll come for you!

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What did the sun say to the moon ?? Nothing - they can't speak

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Three politicians walk into a sports bar. Suddenly, everyone is watching the Stanley Cup playoffs.

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How do u get high, meet a leprachaun, and touch a rainbow? U find a leprechaun shoot him, steal his pot, and run up the rainbow silly!

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What do you call a kite that doesn't fly. A broken kite.

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Why do pokemon have hair? because they have no balls

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Q: What is the answer to 255 x 23? A: A number!

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Whats the difference........ Between a duck?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Most poems rhyme, But his one doesn't.

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What do tomatoes, apples, oranges, lemons, and peaches have in common? They are all fruits.

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What did the devout Catholic man say to his gay neighbours who just got married? "Congratulations!"

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Did you hear about the boy with the treehouse? He caught his mom cheating on his dad in there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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