What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a pressure-sensitive explosive device.

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Photons have mass? i didn't even know they were catholic.

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Knock knock. With the invention of doorbells, knocking has become almost obsolete.

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What's the diffrence between a hockey puck, and an african child? They're both black, but usualy african children aren't round!

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What did Rebecka black say on Thursday? Today is thursday.

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A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

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Haiku's are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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Your mom is so fat..., that she died of a heart attack at an early age and everyone mourned her greatl

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Did you know that if you took all the elephants on earth and lined them up in space, that all the elephants would die???

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What do you call a man without any money? Broke.

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Why did the rapper carry an umbrella? Because the weather report said there was a 90% chance of rain, and he didn't want to get his posh new coat wet on the way to the studio

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

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You know what's interesting about Polish people? Nothing.

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oh hai

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What did the man with cancer say when he got hit in the face with a crowbar? "Ow."

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What's worse than 100 dead babies stapled to a wall? 100 live babies stapled to the wall!!!

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is an inanimate object and a Mexican is a human being.

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So a man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, then drinks it. He then goes home expecting to have dinner with his wife and 2 kids. His wife smells his breath before that and asks him what happens. The men opens to his true and only love and tells her he's having a bad time at work. So they share a hug and talk about it. The man is then renewed, starts pulling up at his job and gets a promotion to general supervisor. He lives happily and watches his kids grow and become professionals. He then dies of a heart attack at the advanced age of 89 while he was watching his favorite TV show.

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GONNA

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Q: How did the black man get the white man's money? A: He walked up, politely asked if he could borrow some money, and told him he would pay him back tomorrow.

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Why did the man order a mail order Asian bride? Because he was caucasian which meant females of his race had unrealistically high expectations of a partner due to various materialistic overtones that are constantly portrayed in their medie creating a society of over entitled women who think they are owed the earth.

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You see that dog over there with no tail? You know what that means, don't you? What? Someone cut it off.

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If John has 50 candybars and eats 45 of them how many does he have left? Diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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