Yo mamma is so pretty, she is frequently complimented on her good looks.

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HaHaHaHa... Was the last joke funny? Ya, well this ones not.

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sometimes i take my duck a shower, i always use cold water because if i use hot water it will think im cooking it.

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I got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen.

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Why did i write this joke knowing i wont get published? I don't know.

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-Is Michael Jackson dead? - HELL YEAH HE'S DEAD!!

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a guy who can fly walks up a hill and jumps off a cliff. his flying power fails him and he dies on impact

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Two blondes are walking down the street. One breaks her left high heel and the other is called Monica.

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What's the difference between difference and between? One is different and the other between.

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go stand in a mirror look at your face that is the joke. 8- now go tell someone you will tell them a joke and do that to them this will be a fast spreading joke. jkjk this joke is so bad everybody give this alot of bad thums. ha ha i do not care

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3 men find a genie lamp on the side of a road, The genie grants them each a wish as they surely deserve. The first man asks for a jet and the genie glady grants him this and the man starts to fly away. The second man says to make a wall around asia and the genie complies. The third man thinks for a minute and finally says fill it with water and as a genie the genie cannot refuse. They all drowned seeing how the jet had no fuel. The genie goes back to sleep and is picked up by an alien 5,000 years in the future, the Earth is destroyed in 7012(as if we didnt already destroy it). The genie survives and currently resides on uranus.

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Q: What do you call an aligator in a vest A: Investigator

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Why was the manspenis big Cause he was a lucky bastard

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Why did the girl drown? Well, the girl probably did drown because she was within the ages of 3-5 years old, and she probably had a physical incapapbilty and she could not swim so her parents didn't save her.

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What did the Catholic preist say to the altar boy? You've been a good altar boy.

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An Asian, Burnett, and a Blond are stranded on an island. They all say, "What the crap?! How'd I get on this island?!"

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Why did Windows crash ? F*ck Windows, that's why.

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Why is it hard to fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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Q: why did Helen Keller's dog kill himself? A: Because he couldn't stand to see his owner suffer through blindness and deafness and being the butt of hundreds of offensive and hurtful jokes.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza is an inanimate object, while a black man is a person. racist F.u.c.k.

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What do you get when you a bunch of women and men with a high sex drive? A group of men and women with a high sex drive.

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Why was the Jewish man put to death? Because he was convicted by a jury of his peers in a fair trial overseen by a judge in good standing in a United States court for 12 counts of homicide

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage

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Why couldn't the dog fetch? It's back legs were useless after it got run over.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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