If life throws you cars, you are probably on LSD.

Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? No Neither has he.

Roses are black, violets are black. I'm Hellen Keller.

Whats pink and slippery? A pink slipper.

HOW MANY CRACK-HEADS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB? NONE, THERE AIN'T NO ELECTRICITY IN THE CRACKHOUSE!!!

Q: why did the train not make it to the station? A: it crashed and killed everybody on board.

.......ah shit i forgotten the joke

What's green and blue, and red all over? Nothing. It if were red all over it wouldn't be green and blue.

How long did the Hundred Years' War last? 116 years.

A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

your moms my other ride

How many moose does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, it is biologically and theoretically impossible for a moose to climb a ladder and screw in a light bulb.

Why was the camel sad he wasnt, camels dont have feelings

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his toadstool.

What is old and fancy and comes in two pieces? Marie Antoinette.

I forgot what i was gonna say

Roses are gay, Violets are gay, I am gay.

If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

Face down, ass up. Thats the way I like to sleep

What did the mother say to her son? I have Leukemia.

Why can't Stuart post a joke? Because he is using a giant iphone

A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

So, a man walks into a bar, and he ends up in intensive care, because the bar was very hot and gave him severe burns. He was on business in an industrial park.

Your dick is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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