WHAT DO YOU CALL SOMEONE HAVING A MYOCARDIAL INFARCTION? Dead

Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone? She got hit by a bus Why was Billy laughing? He was driving the bus Why did Bobby drop his ice cream? Billy put the bus in reverse Why was Johnny crying? Sally and Bobby stole the money from his bank account and now he is poor and homeless

Steve is 12. He has a friend named Gary. Later in his life steve will realize that he is gay and will fall for a man also named Gary. Gary and steve will be together forever. Until steves friend gary goes insane because this man has stollen his name and go and kill the other gary. The end.

What did the father say to his son? I'm leaving and I'm not actually your father.

Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? When 6 was younger, he was made fun of by all the bigger numbers. Everyday after school he would go home and wonder why he was made fun of. Was it his looks? How tall he was? The pain and suffering never stopped. He thought of suicide every day he got home from school. One day his mom got home from work and found 6 bleeding in the shower. She thought he was dead. She hurried him to the hospital where he was barely kept alive. After months of recovery, he started going back to school. The bullying never stopped, they started calling him a loser who should have died. He got older and depressed as a teenager. He got ahold of alcohol and began drinking. He went to meetings and got over his addiction. 10 years later he meets up with 7. It takes him back to his horrible childhood with the big numbers. Every time 6 sees 7, he gets reminded of everything. 7 had also murdered someone in front of 6.

hi

How do you get your clock to stop ticking? Hit it with a sledge hammer.

a man checks his brand new cellphone to see if he has a text message... He has cancer

I dont often wash my hands in the bathroom but when i do its so people dont think im gross.

a man shoots his mother in-law He his charged with murder and will only be eligible for parole in 18 months

what do you do when you see the klu klucks klan ? act white

How much wood would a wood-chuck chuck, If a wood chuck could chuck wood? A full study has never been commissioned into the amount of wood chucked by a groundhog and thus far remains an unknown quantity. ls

A stipper walked into a club, though it was a golf club so she tripped and cracked her skull on it.The end.

They didn't stop pulling my hair i didn't stop pulling the trigger

Why was Rosa Parks forced to sit in the back of the bus? Rebecca Black decided to sit in the front.

What's the difference between a chicken and a 3 legged dog? There are numerous differences. I will not however go into the biological explanations of these differences.

Aww Eliza, thanks for being around in spirit, dont leave yet, I am kinda having breathing problems, and Alice says my something levels are dropping because I need solid food, please dont leave, I cant tell time even with a watch, but would you mind waiting a bit? Ill eat fast, somehow.

Knock knock. Who's there? The police, your child has been in a terrible car accident.

What happens when you mix breed a cat and a human?? .. you get arrested and get raped by your fellow prisoners DONT do it!

How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

what's worse then a blowjob?

Q: whats funnier than watching a black man and a midget fight? A: anything technically, your opinion

What's black, white and red and can't turn round in corridors? A nun with a spear through her head

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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