what happened to the fish that got washed ashore? it died due to lack of water-borne air particles.

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knock knock whos there boo boo who why are you sad my wife has cancer

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What do you do when a blonde falls up an elevator? Pray, and hope Jesus will take you as well. Just kidding, Jesus isn't real.

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Why wouldn't someone want to work in the mining industry? Their dad died in the mines.

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2 men walked into a bar. the other one ducked.

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Why couldn't Sally climb up the ladder? Because she was a paraplegic.

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whats brown and stick? brown paint that has not dried yet.

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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Yo momma is so fat, when she wears a bathing suit, people are like, wow, that woman is fat.

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Q: Why did Frank have a big horse named Bubba? A: He was allergic to cats

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Q: What is black and can't support a family? A: A bowling ball

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The Holocaust? What's worse than finding a worm in your apple.

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retatrded

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Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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What is just as real as a unicorn? World peace

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit him with an ax.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

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a man was walking out side to get the news paper what happened next he picked up the newspaper

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How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? As they can't find any, they are just squirrels, they can not asist little timmy choking on the lightbulb rolling around on the floor.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What do you get when you hit a deer? A dead deer, which you should probably take home to eat - wouldn't want it to go to waste.

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i fell like im going to reverse john becase i ate a bikle penis jackson

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What's the difference between a Jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your balls with a Jew.

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What was so sad about the white woman who dropped her Starbucks? It fell on her baby in a nearby stroller giving it third degree burns, disfiguring its face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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