how come timmy didnt brush his teeth he didnt have a toothbrush

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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Where did the banana go? -Nowhere, a banana can't walk.,

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How can you tell if someone is vegan? -they'll tell you

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Have you seen the Hobbit? Yes they're taking him to Isengard

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Where do the biggest potatoes grow? the ground.

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The first few weeks of joining weight-watchers...you're just finding your feet.

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Why did my pussy get wet? Because I splashed him with water. LOL SO FUNNY OMFG DA BEST JOKE EVA!!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was a really creepy movie

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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Why did the chicken cross the road ? To get to the other side Why did the lollipop cross the road ? It was stuck to the chicken's head Why did the chicken commit suicide ? He couldn't get the lollipop off its head

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An asian, mexican, and a black guy walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "get the hell out"

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What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

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knock knock who's there the german police now pack your stuff and get out

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Why did the man have a hard time trying to open the door? The door was locked

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how you throw 'em.

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Knock, Knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

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What's the heaviest part of an elephant? Its body.

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I'm Stephen Hawking, and I'm a PC. I can't walk or talk, and I'm a Stephen Hawkings

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Friends are like snowflakes, they go away when you pee on them.

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what do a black guy and a white guy have in common? neither of them are purple

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Freddie Mercury died of AIDS. Many consider him a musical hero.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops