What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is something I love to eat, the other is a watermelon.

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One man's trash is another man's treasure is a horrible way to tell a kid that he's adopted

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How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them Why did Jane fall off the swing She has no arms Why did Jack drop his ice cream cone He got hit by a bus Did you know that if you pretend to eat salt you can actualy taste it Do this in public. Why was 6 afraid of 7 Numbers can't think This is the original anti joke A man walked into a bar he is an alcoholic and is distroying his family. Fin a penny pick it up and all the day you will have good luck Until you get hit with a car door. A man is SCUBA diving when he is almost out of air so he takes one breath an holds it to the surface The trip is so long that his lungs explode do to a change in pressure so he died.

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A man on an airplane is extremely frustrated by a small, screaming child. He puts on his headphones and listens to music.

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What do you call a three toed 9 foot man. His name.

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Q: What would happen if you threw a red brick into the black sea? A: It would get wet.

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copy me and i will kill you

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Two homeless men are baking in an oven. They scream loudly until they both die.

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What's red and smells like paint? Red paint.

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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What song does a bulimic person sing while on the toilet? Nothing Bulimic people don't poop.

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What is not a crocodile? The teenage mutant ninja turtles

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What do you call Morgan Freeman at a family reunion? Morgan Freeman.

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

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Why did the young Mexican apply for a job at McDonalds? The economy is down and his family could use the extra money.

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This is a haiku. Not a very good haiku, But still a haiku.

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This is not a joke

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Why do all black men carry guns? They don't. That is a stereotype. Now pants on the other hand, that's a different story.

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Thre jews walk into a bar i lied it was a gas chamber

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What is intangible and has every color on the rainbow? A rainbow.

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles there balls

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Q:how do you make a rockstar cry? A: hit him with a breifcase

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Two Blondes walk into a bar. They each enjoy a refreshing drink before heading home to greet their family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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